Crying over Pintos and Cheese

This entry is part 22 of 24 in the series What's Left of My Life

Okay, looking at my schedule, I’m starting to see a downside to my new job (besides the crappy pay, I mean). I work all the prime spots. You know, like Friday and Saturday night, Sunday afternoon, etc. I don’t think it would have been that big deal a month ago. What was I going to do on the weekends except stay at home and re-watch some Full Metal Alchemist?

But now I get discount tickets and Beth and I could go out for a night on the town. (Which, incidentally, I’m a tad frightened of, since I think her night on the town is a good deal wilder than mine — but I’m willing to try.)

We’ll just have to make Thursday night party night.

Honestly, as I look back on our initial meeting and troubles, I have a hard time understanding it. I mean, she just sort of attached to me, and then I just sorta yelled at her, and then we both didn’t talk for awhile. You might remember me writing once that I needed to call her back and apologize. I did. She didn’t want to talk to me. And you know what, that was fine. If she wanted to be an idiot and cry over that guy of hers, fine. I didn’t live in her world, anyway, with all the make-up and the perfect hair and stylish clothes. Give me a T-shirt and jeans.

Then one day I’m at Wal-mart, looking at their cheap DVDs, and I see her walking by, and she sees me. She asks me how I’m doing and I say, fine. And she starts tearing up right there in the store. I try to reassure her I’m not mad (and at that moment I really wasn’t) and she smiles as she holds back the tears. And then I start to tear up, and I don’t even know why. I’m not emotional like that. I don’t know why I react the way I do. I think it was connected to a whole host of other things.

I don’t remember who suggested it, but we stopped together at the Taco Bell on the other side of the parking lot. (I love the $0.99 menu.) We talked for a long time — and not just her. I told her about some of the things I’ve been going through. We bothed cried there in Taco Bell. It felt good to cry.

Unfortunately, I can’t ever go back to Taco Bell. I’m too embarrassed.

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