Today I woke at 6 am. I didn’t want to. My alarm went off and I hated it with the wrath of a thousand suns. But I woke.

Today I ate off-brand Lucky Charms. There were not enough marshmallows.

Today I drove to work. My car was nearly out of gas, so I had to stop. Filling up took too long and I was almost late.

Today I talked on the phone. A lot. Most of the customers were civilized. A few were raving lunatics. I did not raise my voice or hang up. I made a motion of shooting myself in the head to my coworker, but I did not actually shoot myself. I survived.

Today I ate my lunch. I hadn’t gone shopping yet, so I had a lame PB&J, some leftover Easter candy, and oyster crackers. Oyster crackers are not meant to be eaten without soup.

Today I worked late. The company refuses to hire more workers. Or nobody wants to work. I don’t know. Both maybe. Either way, I worked.

Today the sun was still up when I arrived home. That’s because it’s nearly summer. That still surprises me.

Today I mowed the grass. Because it’s nearly summer. And the grass grows at a rate in direct proportion to how much I’d rather be doing something else.

Today my mom called. She asked me why I didn’t have a girlfriend yet. I told her girlfriends don’t just drop on your doorstep like packages from Amazon. She said that maybe they should. I said that was a very bad idea. She huffed a little and made some murmurs about grandchildren.

Today I washed the dishes, folded the clothes, and vacuumed the living room. Because I don’t have a wife. Or a girlfriend, even.

Today I watched some Netflix show after a half hour of trying to decide which Netflix show to watch. It was OK. Maybe I’ll watch the next episode.

Today I lay in bed. My bed, in my house, which holds my food, outside of which is my car, bought with my money. The moon shines down on it all, and I lay in bed, tired, quite tired, but content, I think.

Today I was an adult. It’s not glamorous, this adulting, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.

Guess I’ll do it tomorrow too.

Originally published at on May 11, 2017,

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